...and don't read books by people who write blogs.
Why? Because they can lead you places that are uncomfortable.
They're not to blame for starting me down this unfamiliar path, but I can certainly say they sped up my pace.
Where have I gone? Where do I find myself?
Shortly before the blogs, I did something unpredictable and helped some other people start a small software company. It's not something you'd expect a married man with four kids to do. But there were good reasons. It felt good to be a founder.
In the middle of that, a friend introduced me to the blogs. I read the blogs. Curse you, Julian Bucknall !
One author showed me that I did have something to say. Another showed me that markets are conversations. That the walls we put up in the name of running a business are artificial and silly. And another helped me see the small guy can make a big difference in a customer's life and can have a business that matters.
In the middle of that, I became impatient. I butted heads with the principal in our business. And I resigned for those things and for family reasons.
I'd left the 9 to 5 world behind and didn't want to go back. Are you still in that world?
The principal of the business was merciful. He had a training and consulting business. He let me stay on as an independent contractor, helping out with a big project. It put food on the table and helped me to stay out of the 9 to 5 world.
Those were good times. Work hard with good people, make good money.
And I kept reading the blogs. They led me to other blogs where people escape from their cubicles, where they extricate themselves from the quicksand of the corporate mold, where there is some hope that you can do something valuable for people and they give you money for it. I got a feel for what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be, what kind of company I wanted to create.
A couple of months ago, an itch started. I had the chance to have another customer. I put in a bid for a project and, before hearing back, decided to be forthright with my "boss" about what I'm doing.
Forthrightness is good, but if somebody is on the bench after a grueling project and they're loyal where you are not, they get your job. No complaining here. The guy deserves the job. He deserves a quiet holiday season.
And so what I longed for, my chance to make something, is now here. The first evening that I learned of my being replaced, of losing my one customer, I was in shock. I had braced myself for it. The blogs, the books, and other things had helped me in that regard. But it was still a shock.
If you're familiar with the TV series Lost, you might remember an early episode in the first season where the doctor, a spinal surgeon, talks about an operation where the unexpected happens. It's a nightmare for him. He tells himself that he can be afraid for 5 seconds and then he has to do what he has to do.
So that's what I did. I gave myself time to be fearful and now I am trying to live what I dreamed of.
It is terrifying and exciting, all at the same time.
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Sean Winstead
Tags: ISV, Life